Friday, May 1, 2009

Jeff’s Movie Review: X Men Origins: Wolverine

Undoubtedly, X Men Origins: Wolverine will top the box office (until it’s obliterated by Star Trek next week) and make someone a shit load of money. It shouldn’t. It’s crap.

During the first three installments of the franchise – two of which were good – Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine shreds the bad guys with adamantium claws with no knowledge of his origin. You see, Wolverine was shot in the head with an adamantium bullet and will henceforth have no memory of X Men Origins: Wolverine.

If it’s that easy, someone please shoot me in the memory lobe.

It’s an action movie… and not a good one. There were a few cool scenes but they were all so empty. By the time Wolverine squares off against the dreaded, genetically-altered Weapon XI, the ultimate mutant killer, I had already completely lost interest.

There is no drama, no suspense. It’s the same old, tired action movie.

Emily liked it. I am flabbergasted.

And don’t get me wrong, I like comic book movies. The Dark Knight was awesome. Iron Man was very good. But this one was completely void of a brain. Wolverine is completely charismaless; he growls a lot.

On the bright side, next week: Star Trek.

Rating:
1 ½ “Schaibles”



On a related note, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people cheer/clap/boo/etc. at a movie theatre. The projectionist appreciates your support. I do not. You’re an idiot.

Years back, I went to see one of the X Men movies with some friends (I think it was the second one). During one scene, Colossus has a three-second cameo. The geeky twat in front of me swooned, yelped and applauded this defining moment of cinematic history. Had it not been for my good Christian rearing, I would have booted the moron in the back of the head.

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