Friday, January 23, 2009

Come Fly With Me

A couple random thoughts while I’m sitting in the Austin Airport for my first of two flights that will bring me back to Massachusetts (although since there is no way I’m paying $7.95 for unlimited wireless internet access, I won’t be posting this until later)…
  1. What kind of person buys dirty magazines at an airport? I don’t know what I’d do if the dude next to me on a flight cracked open the latest issue of Shaved. Seriously, I mean people must buy them or they wouldn’t be there. I want to know who.
  2. At a gift shop I browsed for a souvenir for Emily. It’s come down to the pink plastic cowboy hat, a “Don’t mess with Texas” flask or a crude t-shirt of a guy, pants tented saying “Everything’s bigger in Texas.” What kind of airport is this?
  3. I wonder if I’ll ever fly first class.
  4. It’s a true crime that because you’re at the airport, a McDonald’s customer isn’t afforded the luxury of ordering off the dollar menu. These bastards should be investigated. (This is the kind of complaint I think all first class customers have).
  5. Whenever I’m at an airport I think, “Man, George Costanza was really onto something. These moving walkways should be everywhere.”
  6. I had Chinese for lunch today. My fortune cookie said, “A romantic evening awaits you tonight.” --Achem-- I don’t doubt Emily will be happy to see me, I just think that a more appropriate fortune would read, “A sleepy-eyed, pajama-clad woman awaits you but you have to work tomorrow. Go to bed.”
  7. And lastly, I really feel like watching the movie Airplane! right now.

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